For me, the common cold is nowhere near “common.” The moment I feel that slight tingle in the back of my throat, I know that I will be absent from the real world for a good 3 days – at least. Colds do not come and go for me, or act as a slight annoyance – as they seem to do for other people. No, when I get sick, it’s all-out-full-body-immune-system-warfare.
As a kid, I remember seeing friends of mine have a “cold” and they’d be in school. Sniffling away, lightly coughing or blowing their nose. They seemed just slightly irritated by this “common” virus. I’d marvel at their strength, their stamina – their deeply-rooted desire for education. I was stunned and impressed – clearly they had a love of learning that I didn’t. Or, they had really cruel parents who wouldn’t keep them home. It wasn’t until high school that I realized it had nothing to do with their stamina, desire to learn, or dictatorial parents, no – it was me. I was the weirdo. Turns out, a “cold” for them was just a few days with a stuffy nose and for me, well – a “cold” bitch slapped my immune system into overdrive rendering me with little more functionality than a doorknob.
I do not know why this is. I do know, however, that I am currently sick. As I write this, I have just barely re-joined the living.
When I feel that tingle in the back of my throat, I immediately stop everything and begin The Routine. It basically consists of 12 hours of overdosing on echinacea, zinc, lysine, vitamin C and enough tea to drown a racehorse. It helps. A little. Since I developed The Routine back in college, I’ve discovered that it cuts my misery short by a day. I still have to go through the ringer for the first 24 hours, though. By day two, I start pairing The Routine with a little alternating NyQuil and DayQuil and that just barely gets me functional enough to eat and shower. Yesterday morning, in my sheer oblivion to reality, I accidentally mixed up the NyQuil and DayQuil. So much for, well, Tuesday.
What really bunches my panties, though, is that I manage to get through an entire school year surrounded by germ-laden children (and coworkers) and I end up getting sick… on July freaking 18th. It’s hot – very hot – and I’ve got a long list of summer projects that really need my attention, and here I lay – sick. It’s a punch in the gut.
But thank God for air-conditioning and for blogs and facebook and so forth, otherwise I’d be completely out of the loop – because this time, this “common” cold has got me uncommonly mute. I can’t talk! My throat feels like chargrilled shredded wheat and talking just isn’t an option. No wonder Chris has been in a good mood…
So, as I clamor my way through day 3 of this mess I wonder, am I alone? Am I the only person who gets “uncommon” colds?