For me, the common cold is nowhere near “common.”  The moment I feel that slight tingle in the back of my throat, I know that I will be absent from the real world for a good 3 days – at least.  Colds do not come and go for me, or act as a slight annoyance – as they seem to do for other people.  No, when I get sick, it’s all-out-full-body-immune-system-warfare.

As a kid, I remember seeing friends of mine have a “cold” and they’d be in school.  Sniffling away, lightly coughing or blowing their nose.  They seemed just slightly irritated by this “common” virus.  I’d marvel at their strength, their stamina – their deeply-rooted desire for education.  I was stunned and impressed – clearly they had a love of learning that I didn’t.  Or, they had really cruel parents who wouldn’t keep them home.  It wasn’t until high school that I realized it had nothing to do with their stamina, desire to learn, or dictatorial parents, no – it was me.  I was the weirdo.  Turns out, a “cold” for them was just a few days with a stuffy nose and for me, well – a “cold” bitch slapped my immune system into overdrive rendering me with little more functionality than a doorknob.

I do not know why this is.  I do know, however, that I am currently sick.  As I write this, I have just barely re-joined the living.

When I feel that tingle in the back of my throat, I immediately stop everything and begin The Routine.  It basically consists of 12 hours of overdosing on echinacea, zinc, lysine, vitamin C and enough tea to drown a racehorse.  It helps.  A little.  Since I developed The Routine back in college, I’ve discovered that it cuts my misery short by a day.  I still have to go through the ringer for the first 24 hours, though.  By day two, I start pairing The Routine with a little alternating NyQuil and DayQuil and that just barely gets me functional enough to eat and shower.  Yesterday morning, in my sheer oblivion to reality, I accidentally mixed up the NyQuil and DayQuil.  So much for, well, Tuesday.

What really bunches my panties, though, is that I manage to get through an entire school year surrounded by germ-laden children (and coworkers) and I end up getting sick… on July freaking 18th.  It’s hot – very hot – and I’ve got a long list of summer projects that really need my attention, and here I lay – sick.  It’s a punch in the gut.

But thank God for air-conditioning and for blogs and facebook and so forth, otherwise I’d be completely out of the loop – because this time, this “common” cold has got me uncommonly mute.  I can’t talk!  My throat feels like chargrilled shredded wheat and talking just isn’t an option.  No wonder Chris has been in a good mood…

So, as I clamor my way through day 3 of this mess I wonder, am I alone?  Am I the only person who gets “uncommon” colds?

1 thought on “Sicky-Poo

  1. My husband suffers from chronic colds as well. Sometimes we suspect it might be bronchitis as it lasts well over 2 months. He starts coughing as if his lungs are going to come out. It’s been 8 months and he hasn’t been THAT sick but I really feel awful that there is nothing I can do. He does the same thing. He drowns down a whole bottle of nyquil within 3 days when he feels like a cold is coming on.

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