You need more insurance. And mascara.

If you’re like me, you’ve undoubtedly developed a nervous twitch due to the sheer number of insurance commercials on TV.  Specifically, the big four companies.  Also, if you’re like me, you’ve given thought to turning it into a drinking game.

Guy in Bad Suit with Raspy Detective Voice:  Can switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? 

Are you passed out on the floor from insurance-commercial induced seizures and 72 shots from the past half-hour of watching TV?

In all seriousness, why the influx of so many insurance commercials?  I think back to when I was a kid and Kraft Foods dominated the airwaves, along with beer commercials, fast food and soda.  The good old days!  Rife with gluttony and potential health implications!  Now, we’re a generation of consumer wussies – the hot ads now want our money for… insurance.  How sexy.

And bundling.  Yes.  Save even more money when you insure everything you own, including your body, together with one company.  Your car, house, life, health, motorcycle, boat, RV, Rolex collection, llama and kegorator.  You’ll probably only turn in a claim for these things once, maybe even never, but you can rest assured knowing every area and item in your life is “protected,” Justin Case.   

And how about all those drug commercials?  I’m so glad they are on TV.  They have really helped me redefine some of the symptoms for which I need chemical intervention.  Plus, they’ve helped me realize that without them I wouldn’t know what being truly healthy is all about.

And, apparently we don’t have long enough eyelashes. 

I don’t know about you, and maybe it has to do with the networks I’ve been watching (DIY, HGTV, History, Bravo, Lifetime… that last one makes sense), but I’ve been seeing a lot of mascara commercials lately.  What’s the deal?  Does the cosmetic industry sense a dissatisfaction among the American population with their eyelashes to the extent that they are investing millions to market longer, thicker, fuller, darker cilia?  And don’t even get me started on those Latisse commercials! 

So, I can’t figure it out and I’m since I’m a little bit of a conspiracy theorist, I figure these commercials are actually intended to cause us emotional harm.  That way, when we’ve reached the edge of our sanity, we will feel unstable enough to ask for the prescription drugs, insure everything in our sight, and know that at the end of the day, at least we’ll look good.

What do you think about all these commercials?

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